Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Suck my bloody knuckle!


I have a few sassy students at my school. A lot of them like to test me to see what kind of bad English words, or rude Western gestures they can get away with. One student, whose English name is Cecil, found me at the corner one day after school, and he approached me with great zeal, though he was a low-level student, and offered these greetings: "Teacher! English! I love you! F$#@ you!". I gave chase across the street, cornered him, put my hand on his shoulder and let him know that he wouldn't be doing that again - that English-speaking people would think very badly of him if they heard him speaking that way.

Yesterday, a student whose name I do not know, but who is rather infamous for being a bit of a miscreant in and out of class, decided to call my attention toward him and his group of friends as I was crossing the school yeard to leave for the day. He then proceeded to give a gesture that my mom still hasn't forgiven Montreal Canadien, John Kordic for - the old two hands angling and jabbing down towards his crotch while his pelvis thrusts forward routine.

I walked to him, and he submitted. I tied-up his two hands with my one left hand and began the noogie of a lifetime. He likes to think he's a tough guy, and about 30 seconds had gone by before he so much as flinched. I have to admit, I was impressed. Finally, a sound leaked out of him and I let go. He stumbled away, laughing a bit and rubbing his head before apologizing (probably in jest).

I continued on to the subway station, boarded the train, opened my book, and then caught sight of the bloody knuckle of my right ring finger. I'll never hit a student (unlike every other teacher here), but if they, like John Kordic, insist on encouraging their teachers to do the unspeakable, I have no problem serving-up noogies until I bleed.

In other news, I need some new hand cream. Winters are really dry here.

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