I would have to agree with Lex and say that this is perhaps one of the best essay introductions I have read - not in an academic sense, but strictly for entertainment value, and it's not without its merit in other respects.
I've been focusing on the "hook" lately - the first, attention-getting sentence of the essay. Here, sans corrections, is the result from one girl who wanted to write about the environment...
Do you know that you kill dozens of polar bears everyday? you would be annoyed because you haven't been to the Arctic. but it is ttrue that you have killed polar bears. But how? shampooing, throwing rubbishes, and driving a car... everything you have done causes environmental problems and this has ended-up killing the polar bears and the other species. Every single day, plants, animals and marine life are dying because their habitat is changing due to environmental problems. I belive that we have to protect environment because people can't live without the natural object, the environmental problems can destroy the eco-system and we can't see the beauties of nature.
She certainly got her reader's attention.